Not just one or two strands, but a wealth of them hidden underneath the hair on top.
It freaked me out, but then I got over it. As I brushed my hair today, I noticed the grey is even more plentiful but it looks like highlights. My dark brown hair has lightened and become an interesting mix of dark brown, reddish, and the grey which mixed in just lightens things up.
So the question is, do I dye it? I’ve colored my hair before for fun, for a change or because my hairdresser Frank thought it might look cool, so I’m no stranger to color. This however, wouldn’t be for fun. It would be covering up my age and that feels like a lie.
I’m hoping to go out on job interviews though and I wonder if the strands of grey will hurt me in my search. So I’m torn. I want to keep these grey hairs. I’ve earned each one. They honestly don’t look that bad. If anything, they give me character. Well, except for that one white and coarse one that springs up from the top of my forehead. Nasty little bugger. Why is the texture different anyhow? I must consult Dr. Oz’s website or Google for answers.
So to dye or not to dye?
Do I go visit Frank who will assuredly recommend the dye job or do I insist the grey stays and just settle for a trim? The indecision is weighing on me. I think the only reason I’m so worried about coloring it is the job search. Will potential employers see that strand of grey or two that are prominent and immediately discount me? Will they think my age and experience are more of a detriment than a potential great hire?
If I do dye it, what message am I sending to my granddaughter? That I’m not comfortable in my age or skin? That’s not a good message. Do I tell her that ageism is very real in this world and that I have to essentially lie with a dye job to get ahead? Also not good.
I’m really leaning towards keeping the grey and am thinking of polling recruiters on Twitter about how employers view grey hair.
It’s raining here in Los Angeles. A rare occurrence, but a welcome one. The light is grey and what people call gloomy, but I like it. The pale grey light reminds me of a woods I once saw in New York, where the sky was just this shade of grey, the trees were covered in ice and snow and the man beside me kept me warm. I have great memories of this shade of grey.
I can see the garden from my bedroom window and the leaves are dappled in raindrops and grey light. There’s a mist hovering and from, the kitchen, the smell of pumpkin spice coffee permeates the air. I’ve been baking. There are cupcakes on the counter cooling and frosting in a bowl. I’ll call my daughter-in-law in a few and she’ll come pick up the cupcakes for Jasmine and Aiden’s classrooms. Rain and grey days put me in a baking mood.
There is music playing in the background as I work. Music that fits the day. Today, for me it’s Queen. Nothing like listening to Queen while baking or anything else for that matter.
This morning in the light rain, I went to Evergreen Cemetery. There is a jogging path around it that I just noticed yesterday morning as Marissa brought me home from a long weekend. It’s been there several years, but I’ve never noticed it because I’m never around there when there are joggers. I wonder who thought it was a good idea to place a jogging path around a cemetery. Did they think it would deter the people of East L.A. and make them stop asking the city for things? Um, hello. These are people from East L.A. They’re not scared of much and from the amount of gente using the path, completely in harmony with the muertitos, I’d say if that was the intention, it failed.
Latinos are comfortable with our dead. Aztec dancers like me, dance with them during Dia de los Muertos. We believe our ancestors, our muertitos are always with us in spirit. So today, I took myself to the jogging path and did some fast walking around the cemetery with my thoughts, the cool rain on my face, the community of East L.A. and the comfortable dead.